Reflecting and Summarizing

Objective:

By the end of this lesson, you will learn how to reflect and summarize during mediation. These skills will enable you to clarify issues, validate parties’ perspectives, and guide disputes toward resolution effectively.

Role Play: A Dispute Between Neighbors in Eldoret Over Boundary Lines

To apply the concepts of this lesson, consider the following scenario:

Background: In Eldoret, two neighbors, Mercy and James, are in conflict over the boundary line between their properties. Mercy claims James’s new fence encroaches 2 meters onto her land, reducing her garden space, and demands he move it. James insists the fence aligns with the original survey and accuses Mercy of exaggerating. The dispute has escalated, with shouting matches disrupting the neighborhood.

Parties Involved:

• Mercy (Neighbor): Wants the fence moved, feeling her land is unfairly taken.
• James (Neighbor): Defends his fence placement, believing Mercy is unreasonable.

Task: As you work through this lesson, think about how reflecting and summarizing could help Mercy and James resolve their boundary dispute. How would you use these skills to calm tensions and clarify their positions? We’ll revisit this at the end to apply your learning.

Course Content:

1. Techniques for Reflecting and Summarizing

Reflecting and summarizing are essential mediation skills that enhance understanding and focus discussions, as outlined in the 40-Hour Mediation Course Handbook (Module 5, pp. 67-68):

• Reflecting:
  • Definition: Restating or paraphrasing a party’s emotions or statements to show understanding and validate their feelings.
  • Techniques:
    • Echo Emotions: Mirror their feelings, e.g., “Mercy, it sounds like you’re really upset about losing garden space.”
    • Rephrase Content: Restate their point in your words, e.g., “James, you’re saying the fence matches the survey you have?”
  • Purpose: Confirms you’ve heard them accurately and builds trust.
• Summarizing:
  • Definition: Condensing key points from what parties have said into a concise overview, focusing on issues, not emotions.
  • Techniques:
    • Highlight Main Points: Capture essentials, e.g., “So, Mercy, you’re concerned about the fence taking your land, and James, you believe it’s correctly placed.”
    • Neutral Language: Avoid bias, e.g., not “Mercy’s complaining” but “Mercy’s raised a concern.”
  • Purpose: Clarifies the dispute’s core and keeps the process on track.

Key Insight: Reflecting shows empathy; summarizing organizes chaos—both are vital for progress.

Reflection Question: How might reflecting Mercy’s frustration help her feel heard?

2. How to Use These Skills to De-escalate Conflict

Reflecting and summarizing can reduce tension and shift focus from confrontation to collaboration, as implied in the handbook’s skill application (Module 5):

• Reflecting to De-escalate:
  • How It Works: Acknowledging emotions diffuses anger by validating feelings without agreeing. If Mercy yells, “He’s stealing my land!” reflecting with, “I see you’re really worried about your property,” can calm her.
  • Benefit: Reduces emotional heat, allowing rational discussion. James might soften if his stance is reflected too.
• Summarizing to De-escalate:
  • How It Works: Recapping neutrally stops repetitive arguments and refocuses on solutions. Summarizing, “You both disagree on the fence’s position—Mercy sees it as encroachment, James as correct,” halts escalation.
  • Benefit: Brings clarity, preventing the spiral of “he said, she said.” It shows progress is possible.

Practical Tip: Use reflecting early to ease emotions, then summarizing to pivot to problem-solving.

Reflection Question: How could summarizing stop Mercy and James from repeating their accusations?

3. Practical Exercises in Summarizing Complex Issues

Summarizing complex disputes requires practice to distill essentials effectively. The handbook encourages skill-building (Module 5, p. 68). Here are exercises tailored to the role play:

• Exercise 1: Reflecting Practice
  • Scenario: Mercy says, “I’ve lost my garden because of his selfish fence, and he doesn’t care!”
  • Task: Reflect her statement. Example: “Mercy, you’re feeling frustrated and ignored because of the fence’s impact on your garden.”
  • Goal: Capture her emotion and content accurately.
• Exercise 2: Summarizing Practice
  • Scenario: James says, “The survey proves I’m right; she’s just making trouble. I spent KSH 50,000 on that fence!”
  • Task: Summarize his position. Example: “James, you’re confident the survey supports your fence placement and feel Mercy’s challenge is unfair, especially after your investment.”
  • Goal: Condense his key points neutrally.
• Exercise 3: Combined Application
  • Scenario: Mercy: “He’s ruining my peace!” James: “She’s overreacting to a legal boundary!”
  • Task: Reflect and summarize together. Example:
    • Reflect: “Mercy, you’re upset about losing peace; James, you’re frustrated by what you see as an overreaction.”
    • Summarize: “So, the dispute is about where the fence sits—Mercy feels it disrupts her, while James believes it’s justified.”
  • Goal: De-escalate and clarify in one step.

Key Insight: Practice turns complexity into manageable chunks, paving the way for negotiation.

Reflection Question: Try summarizing Mercy and James’s dispute in two sentences—how does it feel to simplify it?

Applying the Lesson to the Role Play

Let’s revisit Mercy and James’s boundary dispute:

• Techniques:
  • Reflecting: To Mercy: “You’re really concerned about losing your garden space.” To James: “You feel confident the survey backs your fence.”
  • Summarizing: “Mercy, you see the fence as an encroachment; James, you believe it’s correctly placed per the survey.”
• De-escalation:
  • Reflecting Mercy’s worry calms her anger; reflecting James’s stance eases his defensiveness.
  • Summarizing stops their back-and-forth, focusing them on the boundary issue.
• Practical Outcome: They shift from shouting to discussing evidence (e.g., survey review) or solutions (e.g., adjusting the fence slightly).

Your Role as Mediator: You’d use reflecting to validate their feelings and summarizing to clarify the dispute, guiding them toward a practical resolution.